As I looked at the man sleeping beside me, my bare skin against his, a whirlwind of emotions surged within me.

Happiness, guilt, relief, confusion, and sadness all mingled as I reflected on the intimate night we had just experienced.

This man was not my husband, yet my inner turmoil wasn’t from infidelity.

Rather, he was the first person I had been close with since my husband of six years, Simon, had tragically passed away from a sudden heart attack less than a year ago, at only 43 years old. I was 39 at the time.

Initially, I submerged my grief by focusing on our two daughters. However, nine months after Simon’s passing, I began to feel a renewed longing for closeness and intimacy.

I signed up for a dating app for the first time – which is how I’d found myself sharing a bed with this man a few months later.

I’m not alone in seeking intimacy in the wake of a partner’s death. It’s a phenomenon known as ‘widow’s fire’, and many find it takes them by surprise at an already emotionally complex time. Yet it’s a very human response.

Sadly, not everyone is so understanding. ‘Widow’s fire’ can be a hugely taboo and divisive topic and I’ve found the harshest judgment often comes from other widows.

After meeting my current partner Andy in 2019, and becoming the UK’s first ‘widow coach’ a year later, I began sharing my widowhood journey on social media – which includes sleeping with four men since Simon, including Andy.

I’ve since been told by fellow widows that I must not have loved my husband. That I’m ‘disrespecting’ his memory.

Karen says she had such a happy marriage with Simon, who she wed in 2010, and never assumed she’d ever sleep with anyone else again

The couple, who met in their 20s, had two daughters together, who are now 14 and 19

For me, it was only natural not to want to be alone and celibate for the rest of my life, and many people have been supportive of that. Yet some women seemed to take pride in living in a state of perpetual sadness; in putting their own needs and wants on hold for ever. And they had no qualms about telling me I was in the wrong.

But the backlash only confirmed to me why my role as a widow coach is so important, so that I can help other women through this minefield.

I reassure my clients it’s perfectly natural – and acceptable – to seek out pleasure as part of the journey that begins when a partner dies.

I first met Simon in 1998, when I was 21 and he was 25. We were friends for five years before feelings developed and we became a couple. We had our first daughter, now 19, before marrying in 2010 and having our second child, now 14.

We had such a happy marriage, filled with plans for the future, never imagining it would be cruelly snatched away.

One Sunday, in September 2016, Simon was out on a bike ride near our home in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, and suffered a cardiac arrest. Fit and healthy, it was a huge shock.

In a split second, his life was over – and mine changed for ever. Learning he was gone, and that I was a widow at 39, with two little girls to raise alone, was absolutely devastating. At first, all of my energy was poured into the girls. What can be more destabilising than your father suddenly disappearing?

Yet, despite my grief, I quickly became resolved that losing Simon was not going to negatively define my life.

I knew he wouldn’t have wanted me, or our daughters, to become victims; we needed to be survivors of grief instead.

Perhaps that determination influenced what I began to feel as the months passed: loneliness and, confusingly, a craving for sexual intimacy.

When we’d married, I had happily assumed I’d never sleep with anyone else again.

Yet now I wanted to feel ‘alive’, for my heart to race with excitement, to lose myself in the moment with someone. My life had gone on – and I needed to demonstrate that in the most physical of ways. I missed being someone other than a widow.

So, around nine months after Simon died, I decided to put myself ‘out there’.

I joined some dating apps in the summer of 2017 and over the next two years slept with three men, with whom I had short-term relationships.

At that stage, I didn’t feel emotionally capable of anything more permanent. Nor, as a single mum, was I in a place to have multiple casual flings.

I was upfront in my dating bio that I was a widow. It was a fine line between not wanting it to define me, but also wanting to be transparent.

Karen was made a widow at the age of 39 with two young daughters to raise all by herself. She was worried about introducing another man to her children after their father’s death

The truth was, it was all incredibly strange.

With Simon, who knew every inch of me, I wasn’t remotely self-conscious about the stretch marks and signs of ageing that accessorised my 40-year-old mum’s body.

With these new men, sex felt exposing in every sense.

Being in bed with someone new was a poignant reminder of how dramatically my life had changed, but also a reason to believe there was a life still to be lived. I enjoyed feeling desired again, and I knew Simon would not have wanted me to deny myself sexual pleasure. Yet it was still hard to shake off the feeling I was somehow being unfaithful.

Fortunately my friends were very supportive. They told me I was still a young woman, and I should be guided by my own feelings and not worry about whether I was being a ‘good’ widow.

But by early 2019 I decided to step back from dating.

I realised that part of my decision to be sexually active again had been in the hope it would help heal my grief. That if I could find excitement and joy again, it would go some way towards soothing the deep pain I carried.

But, really, healing needed to come from within me.

I never regretted those new lovers, though. I saw them as part of my journey as I rebuilt my life and identity.

Ironically, within months I met my partner Andy in May 2019 at a charity event. I felt an instant connection and couldn’t stop thinking about him.

I decided it would be a mistake not to get to know him better.

We began dating in June 2019 and, once again, I found myself battling worry that I wasn’t ‘widowing’ properly. I was falling for him, but still there was that sense I was betraying Simon.

I also worried about introducing another man to my children.

Karen with her new partner Andy, who she met in May 2019

The girls were 12 and eight when I first introduced them after two months of dating, having already explained that I had met a lovely man and was spending time with him. My youngest, Ella, was simply very excited. The older, Sydney, initially more apprehensive.

As they got to know Andy, Ella went through a phase of not wanting her daddy to be ‘replaced’. I reassured her Simon would always be her dad and so special to us.

Sydney, older and more mature, was accepting of my relationship, and over time they both developed their own bond with Andy.

Crucially, Andy didn’t feel threatened by the love I still had for Simon.

That’s not to say it was easy, navigating this kind of duality –the memories of my old self, jostling for room with this new me. It takes time.

In 2020, as my relationship with Andy continued to strengthen, I began a new career, having previously worked for the NHS.

After undertaking training in health and life coaching, as well as grief educator programmes, I became the first ‘widow coach’ in the UK, using my experience to support others like me.

I help people discover their own path through loss, and that includes seeking out new sexual partners, if that’s what will help them heal.

I advise my clients to think carefully before dipping their toe back into the dating pool.

You need to know what you’re looking for. Is it a casual relationship, something physical and fun without commitment? Or are they seeking a partner to begin a new chapter with? Either is fine, but be sure which is for you.

We are already so vulnerable, the last thing we need is to feel disappointed, rejected or taken advantage of, particularly when the dating landscape can be so ruthless and widows often become a target for men with less-than-honourable intentions.

I hear from clients how they, like me, have felt judged by other widows who have chosen to remain single and celibate, and how painful that is to bear.

To anyone who would condemn a bereaved woman for wanting intimacy or a new relationship, I would ask: is this really who you are? Someone who would deny another widow happiness, comfort and a new beginning after the worst time of her life?

As a community we should be respectful of each other’s choices to ‘move forward’ – or not – when it comes to relationships. Nobody is right or wrong.

Andy and I moved in together in 2021. With him, I have what I also had with Simon – a sex life founded on love, an emotional bond and a feeling of complete safety and stability.

I know now that this is what I was searching for when I returned to dating after being widowed.

I tell clients also experiencing widow’s fire that there is no shame in wanting sex after loss.

Our partners died but we did not, and we deserve a life that includes pleasure and intimacy as much as anyone else.

• The Widow Coach offers specialist support: karensutton.co.uk
• As told to Eimear O’Hagan

A Knicks fan is experiencing a shift in loyalty.

Once known for capitalizing on New York’s sports frustrations, a long-time Knicks supporter has embraced a new outlook. With the team on the brink of clinching its first championship in 53 years, the fan is enthusiastically promoting optimistic merchandise, rallying behind the chant “Go NY Go NY Go!”

“I’ve been sharing my genuine excitement and reflecting on how far we’ve come over the past 10 to 15 years,” said Justin Silberlust, the creator of “Forever Next Year NY,” in an interview with The Post. He expressed his joy over New York’s remarkable journey to the finals.

“There was a time when we felt hopeless, but now look where we are,” added the 28-year-old Dix Hills resident, still in disbelief over the historic Game 4 comeback this past Wednesday. The Knicks overturned a 29-point deficit to secure a nail-biting 107-106 victory against the Spurs.

Silberlust has quickly become an online sensation, embodying the unwavering faith of Knicks fans. This follows his previous success with a brand that resonated with the shared experience of New York sports disappointments.

Mike Brown’s group has inspired enough hope that the entrepreneur has had to rebrand from “Forever Next Year” to merchandise like blue-and-orange basketball t-shirts that read “next year is now.”

“Finally getting to the finals, for the first time in 27 years,” he said, “people have really been resonating with the ‘Forever Is Now’ slogan.”

“We were always saying, there’s always next year,” Silberlust said of the Brooklyn Dodgers favorite phrase that became a one-size-fits-all for the local teams. 

The finance worker is also a glutton for punishment — making the prospect of beating San Antonio for the Knicks’ first NBA title since 1973 even more savory. 

He’s aligned himself in the Bermuda Triangle of God-awful fandom, pulling for the Jets and the Mets — two teams completing the trifecta of what’s been an entire young lifetime without a single championship.

“It feels like it’s never going to happen. It feels like we’re always going to be saying this.”

Silberlust took action on his sports demons in 2025, having his brother Jared build a website featuring count-up tickers for his favorite teams’ lengthy title droughts —1986 for the Mets and 1969 for the Jets.

Soon after, he turned the angst into a viral side hustle clothing and social media brand about the toxic relationships. 

“We’re always going to be showing up for these teams every single year, almost just out of blind loyalty, out of this delusion,” said Silberlust, who hard launched during the Mets’ September collapse last year.

“Being a Mets, Jets, Knicks fan is just my personality, it’s who I am…I combined this idea of this hope that just doesn’t seem to go away with this frustration.”

Fans identified with the hopeless sports romantic and apparel in the local teams’ colors, displaying the gut-punching “Forever Next Year NY” phrase, which said all too much — and apparently by all ages.

“I’ve had 83-year-old grandmas email me, saying that they love the merch.”

Many also quickly signed on for Silberlust’s videos highlighting cheery but dead end times of the past, like that of Jeremy Lin turning Madison Square Garden into “Linsainity” circa 2011.

“I’ve grown my following from about 1,200 followers. Today, I have almost 15,000 across platforms.”

He didn’t do it to state the obvious; instead, “I wanted to reverse the curse.”

As the Knicks take a 3-1 stranglehold on the series, Silberlust can already start to feel the “out of body experience” of finally seeing one of his teams reign supreme. 

“We have waited for a while, but we’re here right now,” he said. “We’re going to embrace it. We’re going to be happy about it.”

As President Donald Trump navigates his second term in office, a noticeable shift is occurring among independent voters, particularly those lacking a college degree. According to a comprehensive analysis conducted by AP-NORC, these independents are expressing growing dissatisfaction with Trump’s leadership.

The analysis, which synthesizes data from nearly two dozen polls conducted between July 2024 and April 2026, provides a detailed view of how Trump’s support has fluctuated during key periods of his presidency. These include the latter half of 2024, the pivotal first 100 days of his term, the summer of 2025 marked by the passage of the Big Beautiful Bill, last fall’s government shutdown, and the onset of the Iran conflict.

This compiled data reveals a consistent downward trend in Trump’s approval among independents throughout his second term. Notably, support has waned among smaller yet significant demographic groups such as Black and Hispanic independents, who had leaned more towards Trump during the 2024 election.

With an increasing number of Americans identifying as independents, any decline in their support could spell trouble for Trump and the Republican Party as they approach the midterm elections. These elections often serve as a barometer for public approval of the ruling party’s performance.

Tafari Torres, a senior research associate at NORC and co-author of the analysis, highlighted that while Democrats’ and Republicans’ opinions on Trump have remained relatively stable, the views of independents continue to shift. “Independents are, broadly, the people who are reacting to the events and dropping in their support,” Torres explained.

Dramatic declines during Trump’s first 100 days

Trump’s return to the White House was fueled, in part, by independent voters who saw him as the stronger candidate on key issues like the economy. The new analysis, which looks at Trump’s favorability and presidential approval ratings, shows that once he took the helm, their views soured quickly.

Independents without a college degree had a much more positive view of Trump than college-educated independents did during and just after the 2024 election, but that shifted in the first few months of his term. Positive views of Trump among independents without a college degree fell from 48% in the months before he returned to office to 31% in polling conducted during Trump’s first 100 days back in office. Those warm views declined even further, to about one-quarter, during the government shutdown and the early months of 2026.

Only about 3 in 10 college-educated independents, by contrast, had a positive view of Trump before he returned to office, making their drop to about one-quarter much less dramatic.

“The decline among no-college independents was steeper and it was greater than the slight decline in college independents,” said Sean Collins, a research associate at NORC who co-authored the analysis. “That was surprising, especially given, when you think of Trump’s coalitions, those without college degrees is usually one of the ones that that stands out.”

Hispanic, younger independents grow disenchanted

Americans without a college degree have long been a key part of Trump’s coalition. But Trump also won in 2024 by making gains among groups that tend to support Democrats, including Hispanic adults.

About 4 in 10 independent voters — 42% — voted for Trump in 2024, up from 37% in the 2020 presidential election. Independent voters without a college degree were a little more likely to back Trump over former Vice President Kamala Harris in the last election, according to AP VoteCast, and Hispanic independents were about evenly split between the two.

The picture looks much bleaker for the president now.

Nearly half of Hispanic independents — 46% — saw Trump favorably in the polling conducted around the presidential election. His approval among these adults dropped quickly in his second term, falling as low as 15% during last fall’s government shutdown before landing around one-quarter in the spring.

Younger independents also became less supportive of the president, while independents age 60 and older remained mostly stable. Other AP-NORC polling has pointed to Trump losing ground among younger Republicans over inflation concerns and Hispanic Americans growing increasingly discontented.

“The gains Trump appeared to make during the election, I don’t know if they’re sticking around. He’s experienced some significant shifts among those people,” Torres said. ”From our research, they don’t appear to be permanent gains.”

The economy is frustrating many independents

Polling suggests that the economy as at the root of many Americans’ frustrations with Trump, including independents.

About half of independents who supported Trump in 2024 said inflation was the single most important factor for their vote, AP VoteCast found, and most expressed high levels of concern about the cost of food and gas.

More than a year into Trump’s second term, inflation remains high, fueled by gas prices that remain elevated as the Iran war continues. An AP-NORC poll conducted in April found that about 3 in 10 independents were “extremely” or “very” concerned about being able to afford groceries in the last few months, and a similar share were worried about being able to afford gas.

The analysis found that Americans’ views of the U.S. economy tend to align with their view of the president. Those with negative views of the country’s economy tended to have negative views of Trump, and about 8 in 10 independents described the U.S. economy this spring as poor.

The latest AP-NORC polling from May found that only about 3 in 10 independents approve of how Trump is handling the economy, in line with the roughly 3 in 10 who said that at the beginning of his second term. The April poll found only about 1 in 10 independents — 12% — approved of how Trump was handling the cost of living.

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This AP-NORC analysis of 4,836 independents was conducted over 21 AP-NORC surveys, blocked into five time periods before and during President Donald Trump’s second term. Independents are classified as panelists who do not select that they identify with or lean toward either the Democratic or Republican Party.