Mike Tindall Opens Up About ‘Difficult’ Moments in Marriage to Zara Tindall

Mike Tindall has spoken candidly about the challenging moments he and Zara have faced during their 15-year marriage.

The 47-year-old former England rugby star, who helped his country win the World Cup, admitted that he and Zara do not always confront disagreements immediately.

Even so, he said the couple are generally able to sit down and work through their differences once issues come to the surface.

Mike married Zara, the 45-year-old daughter of Princess Anne, in 2011. The couple share three children: Mia, 12, Lena, eight, and five-year-old Lucas.

Speaking on the Talk Horse podcast, Mike said: ‘I think it all depends on the scenario.

‘When it comes to sport, animals or the children, things are probably quite straightforward. But other nuances can make certain situations more difficult.’

‘Neither of us necessarily goes looking for confrontation until it happens, and that is not always the best approach.’

‘But once it does happen, I think we are actually quite good at talking things through.’

He continued: ‘You just have to try to muddle your way through it. It is never easy, is it?’

Discussing the balance between speaking up and knowing when to remain silent in a relationship, Mike joked that sometimes ‘you just want to annoy someone, just for the sake of it’.

He added: ‘I probably do that a little too much.’

Zara has also acknowledged that they do not agree on everything, saying: ‘I think we enjoy the same things, even if we do not agree on some things.’

According to Mike, however, their shared backgrounds as professional athletes have played an important role in making the marriage work.

He said: ‘We have been very lucky. Obviously, I am very lucky. She is not so lucky – but sort of lucky.’

‘I think it has worked all the way through because we have both been involved in professional sport and understand each other’s individual needs.’

The couple first met at the 2003 Rugby World Cup, which England won with Mike part of the victorious team.

Zara won an Olympic silver medal at London 2012, in the equestrian eventing, alongside team-mates Tina Cook, William Fox-Pitt, Mary King and Nicola Wilson.

Her father Captain Mark Phillips is also a former Olympic event rider, having won team gold for Britain in 1972.

Explaining how he gives Zara space before cross-country competitions, which require ‘massive focus,’ Mike said: ‘I’d stay out of the way on a cross-country day, let her focus.

‘I try and make her laugh every now and again to remind her you don’t have to be that serious.’

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That instinct for knowing when to joke continues after a competition.

‘Depending on how it’s gone, you react in the appropriate way,’ he said.

‘It could go really bad or it could have gone really well, where you can go, “You almost f***ed up there!”

‘I think that’s where you know those nuances where you can either lean in, lean out. I think that’s how and why it’s worked so well.’

Mike also admitted that raising three children while Zara continues to compete has brought its own challenges.

Mike said: ‘You forget sometimes life is hard when kids come along and you try to still compete.

‘Fortunately, when Mia came along, that was my last year, so I haven’t been a professional athlete whilst the kids have been around.’

He recognised the guilt Zara can experience trying to combine motherhood with elite sport.

He said: ‘You’ve got to try and play a support role at the same time because mums do have mother’s guilt. It’s a thing.

‘And it can be really hard at times. I won’t say I get it right all the time, but you’ve got to try and do it whatever ways you can.’

The couple also teased each other about Mike taking the children to a football game rather than watching Zara’s cross-country at Blenheim Horse Trials last month.

Mike pointed out that she had won the British Open the last time he stayed away, adding: ‘Maybe not having distractions and kids around could be part of the issue.’

He also credited humour with helping them through sporting setbacks, saying: ‘Sometimes things are s*** and you’ve just got to say s*** and have a joke about how s*** it is.

‘I think that massively helps because sometimes, in those darkest times, only humour can get you through.’

Zara this month told Talk Horse about the tough-love upbringing she received from Princess Anne and Mark Phillips – including being informed she would get no help when she decided to follow her parents into top-level equestrian sport.

The King’s niece said her parents warned her she would have to prove herself if she wanted to make a career out of it.

She also said Olympic gold medallist Mark was such a hard taskmaster that she would struggle to ever win his approval.

And Zara admitted the experience influenced her own approach to parenting, saying she was now trying ‘not to be quite that bad’ with the next generation.

Speaking on the podcast, Zara said: ‘When I was about to leave school – and I had a great last couple of years at school and didn’t do very much work; I played lots of sport – I then thought, [I’ll] just see if I’m any good at it.

‘You know, riding a horse, try and find something that could maybe go all the way.’

She continued: ‘I think my dad and my mum were like, “But you have to do it properly. And this is how it’s going to work. And you’re not getting any help and you need to produce results”.

‘Mum’s very relaxed. She’s like, “Just, you know, just do what you do”. Whereas my father’s like, “More of this, more of that”.

‘My father was quite critical. Very rarely you would get a, “Yeah, that was good”, out of him. So it was always striving to try and get that comment. He was a tough coach.’

Zara went on to win individual gold at the 2006 World Equestrian Games in Aachen with her horse Toytown, having taken European individual gold the previous year. 

She was named BBC Sports Personality of the Year in 2006.