DEAR ABBY: A few years back, my husband and I decided to purchase a home jointly with his sister. We split the expenses and responsibilities, and overall, this arrangement has allowed us to live in a much nicer home than we could have afforded individually.
However, there are times when my husband and his sister have discussions and make decisions about the house without consulting me. I have voiced my displeasure loudly each time I discover this has happened, yet I don’t always find out until later. While they usually apologize, their behavior remains unchanged.
Recently, a severe storm caused significant damage to our home, involving insurance claims and contractor decisions. Once again, I learned about choices being made without my input, which I find extremely disrespectful. I’m seriously considering moving out. I would appreciate your advice. — DISCOUNTED IN FLORIDA
DEAR DISCOUNTED: It’s crucial to communicate to your husband and sister-in-law that you are an equal stakeholder in this living arrangement. It’s unclear why they undervalue your input, but addressing this might require a mediator or marriage counselor if they are open to it. Should your concerns continue to be ignored, consulting a lawyer to understand your legal rights might be necessary.
DEAR ABBY: A month ago, my husband and I experienced the heartbreaking loss of our cherished and beloved little dog. Over the years, we have had other pets, but as we have grown older, our little companion became like a child to us, always by our side.
We are having a terrible time handling this. For example, we went into the grocery store yesterday, and when we got to the pet food aisle, we both started crying. We cry every night at bedtime as we say goodnight to him in heaven. If we drive by a park where we walked him, we fall apart again. How can we cope? If we talk to friends or neighbors, we start crying again. Please help. — PET PARENT IN MICHIGAN
DEAR PET PARENT: Please accept my sympathy. The passing of a beloved furry family member is never easy. Because your loss is fresh, it’s no wonder that you and your husband are grieving. Contact your veterinarian, explain your emotional state and ask for a referral to a grief support group. (Yes, they do exist.) With time, your overwhelming emotions will ease, and you will remember “the little guy” and be able to smile again.
DEAR ABBY: Because the cost of cards and postage is so high, I have started sending fancy e-cards for many occasions (except Christmas). I spend as much time selecting the right e-card as I would in a store selecting a paper card. I do send paper cards to friends and family who have expressed a preference. Are e-cards less acceptable than paper cards? — SENDER OF GREETINGS IN OREGON
DEAR SENDER: E-cards have gained in popularity for the reasons you mentioned. I do not consider them less appropriate (or welcome) than paper cards. It’s the thought that counts. Readers, would you like to weigh in on this? I am interested in your opinion.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.