For generations, Australians have celebrated the enduring spirit of the “Aussie battler,” a symbol of resilience and determination. However, as time has marched on, there’s a growing debate over whether this iconic spirit has faded, overshadowed by a more modern tendency to grumble. This topic is at the heart of the Insight episode, “Wired to Whinge,” now available to stream on SBS On Demand.
I consider myself an expert in the world of complaints, and I’m not shy about admitting it.
My track record in lodging complaints speaks for itself. I’ve managed to secure a $400 reimbursement from my bank after it failed to deliver a new transaction card before my international trip, not to mention obtaining compensation for medical expenses from an airline when a friend’s mother was injured during a flight.
Relentless in my efforts and not easily deterred, I press on until I achieve results.
Surprisingly, my journey as a professional complainer didn’t start this way.
Born in the 50s, I grew up mostly in Sydney’s inner-west in a time when even an eye roll was perhaps considered subversive of the notion that we shouldn’t complain too much.
Because of this, I was always terrified of being seen as a whinger and would bury any grievances I had about all the ways women were treated.
Then feminists such as Germaine Greer and Betty Friedan hit my consciousness at around age 15, and I realised how much women endured, which made me have newfound respect for my mum.
Despite this awareness, I continued for the next decade to put up with many experiences I believed were just typical for young women.
I didn’t complain when I spent half a day getting ready for a date, and they’d show up looking like they just fell out of bed; I didn’t complain when my bum was pinched as a barmaid or when I’d have to lock myself in a storeroom to avoid the advances of a coworker.
Complaining meant you had no sense of humour and took yourself too seriously.
It wasn’t until my mid-20s, working as a social worker, mostly in the criminal justice system, that I was surrounded by many women who taught me I didn’t need to put up with it.
‘I’m not going to keep my mouth shut anymore’
Then, when I was a 34-year-old mother of two, I earned my law degree and really felt empowered to complain, as it taught me how to navigate the systems and rules that structure society.
I thought, “I know the system. I know how it’s supposed to work, so I’m not going to keep my mouth shut anymore.”
As a social worker and solicitor, who also worked for the NSW Ombudsman, I’ve learnt a lot from other “professional complainers” over the past four decades — even if some seemed worn from battling bureaucracy and institutions.
My “professional complaining” has largely been advocating for others for housing and those experiencing addiction. People call me up with an issue they need help with, and they know I’ll gladly open my big mouth and advocate for them, wasting no time to get their issues resolved.
How to complain successfully
I think people could complain more, but they don’t know how to do it successfully; there is a process you must follow to be a good complainer.
My “Charter of Complaining” has two main rules to follow.
The first rule is: do it in writing. Making a telephone complaint is often a complete waste of time, as a conversation can be ignored or forgotten. Creating a written artefact makes it much more difficult to be ignored; a document or email is a thing which needs to be dealt with.
The second rule of complaining is to target the proper decision maker. There is little point in complaining to the call centre worker based offshore — that’s just bullying. You need to target the person with the power to address the problem.
I’d also say, learn the system. Work out that if you get knocked back for your pension, you can complain about it, and then you can go to the tribunal about it, and then you can go to various courts about it.
‘A civic duty’
At my age, I feel I have earned the right to speak my mind when the situation requires it — always in complete sentences, with correct grammar and supporting evidence.
As well as being a professional complainer, I’m now also a professional ‘complainee’ as a university lecturer.
Some students seemingly see it as their right to complain about pretty much everything — from having to physically borrow a book from the library, to having to show up for class.
I am either the Wicked Witch of the West or Glinda the Good in my end-of-semester evaluations from students — there is no middle ground.
But I get it and see complaining as a civic duty for those of us with the wherewithal to do it.
With confidence and knowledge of how systems work, complaining can be an exercise of citizenship which supports our democratic processes. If you can write a decent letter or email about something that might be affecting lots of other people, then you should do it.
Complaining about social issues is a very valuable thing, as you don’t have social change without social action. Speaking up about faulty systems means that change can happen.
Putting up and shutting up means that things stay the same.
