Friend Uninvites Me From Wedding After 17 Years of Friendship

Kit Barrus had spent nearly $5,000 on a three-day cruise to Mexico planned to celebrate her childhood best friend’s upcoming wedding.

She purchased gifts, decorated the bride’s cabin, paid for fuel and parking, and drove the other women to and from the ship.

After 17 years of friendship, Kit wanted to make the celebration memorable, despite not being chosen as one of the bridesmaids.

Yet after dropping everyone home, the 28-year-old was already trying to work out how she could avoid attending the wedding. The trip she had eagerly anticipated left her feeling humiliated and pushed aside, prompting her to reassess a friendship she had spent years trying to preserve.

Six hours later, a message from the bride appeared in her Instagram inbox: ‘This is so inappropriate, uncalled for, consider yourself uninvited from the wedding.’

Kit had uploaded a brief video poking fun at the challenges of travelling with a group. She never imagined the post would end a friendship that had lasted for most of her life.

The friend she grew up with

The two girls met in Thousand Oaks, California, when Kit was 11, and soon became inseparable. They lived within walking distance of one another, sang in the same choir and spent so much time together that others regularly assumed they were twins. On occasion, they would swap one shoe before class and arrive wearing mismatched pairs.

The pair shared much of their childhood, and although Kit moved away during high school, they continued to consider themselves close. As they grew up, however, their lives gradually began to take different paths.

Kit, who now creates content for OnlyFans, says her friend’s Christian beliefs occasionally caused tension between them. She remembers remarks about her work and relationships that made her feel judged, but tried not to allow those disagreements to destroy the friendship.

‘I was very loyal to the friendship,’ Kit tells Daily Mail. ‘I was like, man, we’ve been friends since we were 11. Like, what are we gonna do, not be friends?’

They had their share of arguments, but Kit was generally the one who made contact afterwards. She would allow her friend time to cool off before sending a message saying she loved and missed her and would be ready to talk whenever she was. For years, that approach had helped repair their disagreements.

Eleven bridesmaids, but not Kit

When her friend announced her engagement, Kit expected an invitation to join the bridal party. Having known the bride since childhood, she assumed she would have a place in the wedding celebrations.

But the invitations were sent without her name appearing among them. The bridal party included 11 bridesmaids, some of whom the two women had met together years after their friendship began.

Kit did not demand an explanation, though she privately wondered why she had been excluded. The bride had vaguely indicated that her mother did not want Kit in the bridal party, but Kit never discovered the precise reason.

Later, while the two women were making Valentine’s gifts for their partners, the bride invited Kit on a three-day hen’s cruise to Ensenada, Mexico. ‘I was just happy to be involved at this point,’ Kit recalls.

She accepted, knowing she would likely feel out of place. Most of the women joining the cruise were bridesmaids, making Kit the only guest without an official role in the wedding.

Going all out for the bride

When the bride wrote in the group chat that she would appreciate help decorating her cabin door and organising games, Kit stepped in after no one else responded.

She bought decorations and assembled a large collection of bridal gifts, including a sash, tiara, slippers, games and novelty sweets. Kit organised transport to the cruise terminal, drove the other women and paid for fuel and parking. She also reserved her own cabin so she could keep working during the trip.

There were excursions, too, including activities the bride wanted to try but couldn’t persuade the others to join. By the time Kit added up her accommodation, travel, gifts and everything else, she estimates she’d spent almost $5,000.

‘So I brought everything to decorate her door,’ she recalls. ‘I brought her a whole basket of bride-to-be stuff. And I was not even a bridesmaid.’

It was a considerable amount of money for three days away, but Kit had known the bride for most of her life. She wanted her to enjoy herself.

The hen’s trip from hell

At first, things seemed to be going reasonably well. Kit noticed her friend was a little irritable, but she was still included in the group’s activities. It was when they reached Ensenada on the second day that the atmosphere began to change.

Kit doesn’t drink much, while several of the other women were enjoying alcohol throughout the trip. She also began noticing comments about money that made her uncomfortable.

At lunch, the group had run up a sizeable bill. Kit had ordered two tacos and a water, which she estimates cost around $20 to $30, but the women were struggling to work out how much everyone owed. She offered $80 towards the total, hoping that would help settle things.

Instead, she says, the discussion dragged on, leaving her with the uncomfortable impression that the others were waiting for her to foot the entire bill.

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‘You know when you can tell that people are waiting for you to do something, and they’re dragging their feet or making it more difficult than it needs to be for no apparent reason?’ she says. ‘It was that.’

Kit began to wonder whether she’d been invited partly because the others expected her to cover some of their expenses. ‘I kind of felt like I was taken along as, like, a weird piggy bank,’ she says.

She was also struggling with the bride’s behaviour towards her. Kit says her friend had become increasingly hostile, not only towards her but towards locals they encountered while exploring Ensenada. Kit, who rarely drinks, felt increasingly out of place among the women. By the time the group finished lunch, she’d had enough and decided to return to the ship alone.

Once aboard, she bought herself a drink, found a quiet spot in the main foyer and started reading comics on her phone. ‘This is the most fun I’ve had this whole f***ing trip,’ she remembers thinking.

The worst moment came on the final day of the cruise. Kit had been trying to find the other women when she discovered they’d gone to one of the ship’s nightclubs without telling her. She eventually tracked them down and went over to join them, only to be directed to a chair against the wall.

‘They put me in a chair, like, up against this wall and then all turned their backs to me,’ she recalls. Kit was so stunned that she took a short video and sent it to another friend. ‘I wish I could make this up,’ she remembers thinking.

By then, she’d given up trying to understand what was happening. She says the bride had been drinking heavily and was behaving aggressively, so Kit decided it was easier to keep her distance than risk a confrontation.

Even the drive home brought another awkward moment. Kit was taking some of the women back from the cruise terminal when they began discussing a sleepover, happily making plans to watch a film together once she’d dropped them off.

‘After Kit drops us off, we should do this. We should do that. We should watch this movie,’ she remembers them saying. Kit was sitting right there, behind the wheel. ‘I’m right here,’ she recalls thinking. ‘I’m driving you home.’

By the time she finally got home herself, she was wondering how she could possibly face another gathering with the same women.

The Instagram Reel that ended everything

Before the cruise, Kit had explained to the bride that she would need to create content while they were away. She regularly travelled alone for work and wanted to be able to film Instagram Reels and TikToks, which was one reason she’d booked her own cabin. She says the bride had been perfectly happy with the arrangement.

During the trip, Kit made a short Instagram Reel about the differences between travelling alone and travelling with other people. Usually, she could move at her own pace and decide what to do without consulting anyone. On the cruise, she found herself adjusting to other people’s schedules, walking more slowly and carrying their belongings while they did other things.

She filmed a few light-hearted clips of those little frustrations, including herself holding people’s things. In one shot, another woman’s hand was briefly visible. Kit thought it was the sort of joke other solo travellers would recognise.

Her friend, however, took offence. Around six hours after Kit had dropped everyone home, the bride sent her a message through her public Instagram account rather than her personal one, something Kit found particularly strange.

‘She was like, “This is so inappropriate, uncalled for, and has upset everyone. Consider yourself uninvited from the wedding”,’ Kit recalls.

Kit hadn’t named or criticised the bride in the video, and couldn’t understand why she’d reacted so strongly. She didn’t reply to the message. ‘I was like, well, there’s really nothing I can say to that,’ she recalls.

In fact, she’d already been talking to another friend about how much she dreaded attending the wedding. She hadn’t been given a plus-one, and most of the people she knew would be occupied with their bridesmaid duties. After the cruise, the thought of spending another day feeling unwanted was unbearable.

So when the invitation was withdrawn, Kit admits she was relieved. ‘I was like, yep, thank you,’ she says.

Five or six days later, Kit discovered the bride had blocked her on Instagram. She’d initially left the Reel online, but removed it after one of the bridesmaids began responding to her followers, writing, ‘Crazy of her to say this after we bought her lunch.’ Kit was stunned, particularly given the awkward lunch in Ensenada, where she says she’d offered $80 despite ordering only two tacos and a water.

‘I was like, what? I drove. I paid for gas. I paid for parking. I got you guys s**t all the time. What are we talking about right now?’ Rather than continue arguing with the bridesmaids in public, she decided to take the video down.

The friend she still misses

The wedding has since come and gone. Kit was travelling when a reminder appeared in her calendar, and she remembers feeling grateful that she wasn’t there. She admits there was some relief in the friendship ending, too, although she’d spent years hoping the woman she remembered from childhood would return, even as their disagreements became more frequent.

‘She used to just be this, like, being of absolute love,’ Kit says. ‘She always had so much love for the people around her. She really tried to take care of others.’ Kit had watched that side of her friend gradually disappear, hoping things might eventually improve. ‘I feel like I’ve been watching her slip away for years and there’s been nothing I can do about it.’

She doubts there’s much left to repair now, although she says it would take a significant apology before she’d consider rekindling the friendship. What she still misses is the girl she knew long before the wedding, the arguments and the cruise.

‘I grieve the girl I was friends with when I was only 16,’ Kit says, ‘because she was awesome. She was the coolest.’